Pulling

Seasons, glorious turnings of spring to summer,

Falling into autumn with the blister of winter at it’s heels.

There are days that lay heavy on the soul.

Could there have been other roads?

The heart chooses the best it can

but we are delusional in our grasp of control.

Like a bottle floating in an open ocean, we are subject to swells

and never ending, always bending currents

pulling us onward.

Sometimes backwards.

Until we reach the shore.

Inside of us, a mirror that reflects the thoughts

The doubts,

The hopes,

The prayers

And the resolves.

Magnifying their presence

We can either look into those reflections

Or shine them outward.

A world of emotion hidden behind,

Keeping our secrets close.

Keeping our journey silent.

To look around in the world

And see below the surface.

To see the seasons of others,

To find them drifting in the tides.

We are together but separate in our struggles

Yet from above, we are closer than we think.

A universal pain that reverberates from within,

Yet we tell our stories as if there is no heartache

No loss

No regrets

No longings

Humanity is found in the scars,

It is found in the battles won

But also in the surviving triumph of loss.

Our fragility,

Our honesty

Our most vulnerable telling of life’s journey

Is where our hearts truly come alive.

My pain I share with you,

So that you may know that we are not alone,

In our drifting.

I will watch the stars above us,

Along side of you.

The water will carry us at its will

But we will be together.

Always.

Dedicated to my husband, the best partner in life that I could have ever hoped for.

A Very Special Wedding in New York

I had the honor of photographing a beautiful wedding in New York last weekend. Edward and John officially (and legally) tied the knot, showing that love and unity cannot be limited by one definition. 

Wishing them and all whom enter the vows of marriage, years of happiness and cherished memories!

 

 

Despite the Odds: Wisdom from my potted plant.

INSPIRATION : "a divine influence or action on a person believed to qualify him or her to receive and communicate sacred revelation"




I found inspiration today in a household plant. While that expresses a comical notion, that fact I can even possess 'living' household plants is comical in it's own right. I was once a gal with a black thumb. Moving to Manhattan, a city void of nature outside of Central Park, develops the horticulturalist in anybody...even me.

I have a lovely small potted palm. Ok, so yes, I picked about the easiest of varieties to maintain. But I tend to them and love them, especially now as I overlook nothing but the concrete of the city below. Yet what's more, is that somehow in my care my little plant sprouted two young offspring. Like a proud Momma, I've watched them from their very first sprouting. One seemed to jut out from the soil in a bit of a hurry of it's own, as if it suddenly just one day it appeared out of nowhere. The other appeared to be a weakly stunted seedling that barely punctuated the dirt. It reached up and through with the smallest leaf. I thought for sure it wouldn't survive. Nonetheless, I watered them, spoke to them...even kissed them from time to time. In our family, there are no children yet except for these two small seedlings struggling to survive their youth.

I've watched for many months as they grew each at their own pace. The smaller one, seemed to creep up and up but not without succumbing to the weight of the soil pressing down into it. I feared it could not bear the challenge, but it's once weak looking leaves now surprise me with each passing day. They have slowly grown stronger, greener.

Meanwhile the other that was so eager to enter the world and stand tall seemed to be growing weaker. It's stalk underdeveloped and thin. It's leaves wilting no matter how diligently I watered and fed it. It grew tall no doubt, but now could barely support it's own weight.

Today I looked to find it nearly fallen over. It's leaves, even those recently sprouted cracked and laid lifeless. My little underling, the one I thought for certain would surely die within weeks of it's peering through the surface was vibrantly green and beginning to flourish.

I found it heartbreaking and immediately began to dig up my dying seedling. While doing so I realized how shallow it had been planted. As I carefully removed it, I saw that some of it's roots were exposed to air and damaged. Despite it's rapid first growth, full of promise and fervor, it was now was falling incredibly short. It had always been too close to the surface. It did not have to struggle to break through like it's sibling. It's roots were not safely buried, leaving it vulnerable. It's stem remained juvenile and void of sound structure. Eventually without the need to grow strong in order to survive from the very start, it was unprepared to bear it's own weight.

In hopes of second chances, I've buried it's fragile roots and stem deeper into the ground. Only time will tell how it may weather it's new existence. My hope is that it is reversible as only death comes with permanence. In the meantime, I pull inspiration from little sprouted palm, who worked so hard to grow despite a mound of dirt and weight that surrounded it. It defied even my expectations.

In life, many will grow sullen in despair when they feel burdened by disappointments, by setbacks and obstacles. I, myself, sometimes wonder why certain journeys can be shrouded in more unforeseen difficulties than others. Some may have even weathered storms that I, thankfully, have never even known myself. All of our struggles are unique, but none are less valid then any others. Then one day you go through your normal routine to simply water a plant and you realize God speaks to you in all the ways he can. Sometimes it comes in unexpected moments, that can seem rather silly... but in reality become profoundly impacting and incredibly loud.


I'm thankful for those moments.